WHAT CAN HAPPEN TO YOUR DAUGHTER !

A mother passing by her daughter's bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then she saw an envelope propped up prominently on the center of the bed. It was addressed, "Mom." With the worst premonition, she opened the envelope and read the letter with trembling hands:


Dear Mom,

It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new boyfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Dad and you. I've been finding real passion with John and he is so nice-even with all his piercings, tattoos, beard, and his motorcycle clothes. But it's not only the passion mom, I'm pregnant and John said that we will be very happy. He already owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. He wants to have many more children with me and that's now one of my dreams too. John taught me that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone and we'll be growing it for us and trading it with his friends for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so John can get better; he sure deserves it!! Don't worry Mom, I'm 15 years old now and I know how to take care of myself. Some day I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know your grandchildren.

Your daughter,
Judith

PS: Mom, none of the above is true. I'm over at the neighbor's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than my report card that's in my desk center drawer. I love you! Call when it is safe for me to come home.

-END>>>>>>>>>>

BIDA PA RIN ANG PINOY!

A Filipino (Pinoy) is having breakfast in a hotel in France one morning... coffee, croissants, bread, butter & jam when an American (Kano), chewing gum, sits down next to him.

The Pinoy ignores the Kano who, nevertheless, starts a conversation:

Kano: "You Filipinos eat the whole bread??"

Pinoy ( getting pissed with Kano): "Of course."

Kano: (after blowing a huge bubble) "We don't. In America, we only eat what's inside. The crusts we collect in a container, recycle it, transform them into croissants and sell them to the Philippines." The American has a smirk on his face.

The Pinoy listens in silence. Still The American persists.

Kano: "Do you eat jelly with the bread??"

Pinoy:"Of Course."

Kano: (cracking his gum between his teeth and chuckling). "We don't. In America we eat fresh fruits for breakfast, then we put all the peels, seeds, and leftovers in containers, recycle them, transform them into jam and sell the jam to the Philippines."

The Pinoy ( already pissed with Kano) asks: "Do you have sex in America?"

Kano: "Why of course we do."

Pinoy (now smirking): "And what do you do with the condoms once you've used them?"

Kano (a bit puzzled): "We throw them away, of course."

Pinoy: "We don't. In my beloved Philippines, we put them in a container, recycle them, melt them into chewing gum and sell them to America!

-END>>>>>>>>>>